Prom Night Advice
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The prom can be one of the most important events in your high school experience - a special night to look forward to and fantasize about for months beforehand. For some teens, though, the prom can seem like just another reason to worry and feel stressed out. Here are some strategies for overcoming prom pressure. Your Money With a little bit of planning and creativity, the prom doesn't have to cost a fortune. Here are a few less expensive options: Try renting dresses or tuxedos or paying for them in installments if you don't want to blow a wad of cash. Thrift shopping for cool finds is a great way to get style on the cheap. You may be able to find some funky vintage shoes, purses, jewelry, and other accessories. Think about borrowing threads from older siblings or cousins. If you can't afford a trip to a beauty salon, go to a drugstore with a friend and treat yourselves to some new beauty supplies. You can spend the afternoon helping one another primp to perfection. Instead of an expensive restaurant, opt for a romantic picnic dinner in the park or meet up at a friend's place for some home cooking. If you're going with a date, talk openly about what's important to him or her - that way you'll have some idea of where you should spend your money. And guys shouldn't feel pressure to pay for everything - in fact, lots of girls prefer to share the expenses and have some choice in what the plans are. If you need to ask a parent or other family member for help with your finances, offer to make up the cash by doing chores around the house like mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, or babysitting your little brother or sister. Sometimes parents are happy to help with some expenses - such as a limo that means they won't have to worry about how you'll get home. Your Self-Esteem The biggest prom worry for most people is asking and being asked: It's natural to stress out about gathering the courage to invite that special someone - and then being turned down. It's tempting to avoid the possibility of rejection by not asking, but who wants to be afraid of taking a chance? Ask. If the person says no, you can move on. That's what Gina did - and she was surprised when people told her how much they admired her for asking Chris in the first place. If you never ask, you may miss out on a dream date - someone who might be waiting for you to make the first move because he or she is too shy. |
| How to ask someone out Ahhh, few things in life are as exhilarating as the promise of a new relationship. It can be frightening and anxiety provoking while at the same time lifting your spirits and renewing your outlook on life. While the initial attraction is rarely love, what it has is the promise of love to come and that can be intoxicating. So how do you move from the admiration phase to the dating phase? The answer is not simple. First you have to be ready to put your heart (or at least your ego) on the line by letting the other person know you are interested. This can be done in an obvious or subtle manner but it is an essential first step. Start with some innocent flirting and if your crush seems receptive dive on in! Ask him or her out. It can be something simple like, "lets eat lunch together today" or something more substantial like, "do you want to see a movie with me on Saturday?" Once you have put yourself out there you will soon know if the other person is interested as well. If they say "no" it is pretty obvious that they aren't in to you the same way that you are in to them. This is OK, and unfortunately it is the risk we take in asking somebody out. But chances are really good that they will say "yes" and then you will have a chance to get to know them better. The bottom line; if you want to date somebody you have to ask. Sitting around sending put signals is game playing and very few people get far in love by playing games. Take a chance, at this point you have little to lose except the happy feeling of having a crush, and you have everything to gain including, maybe, love! |
| How to let someone down Nicely Oh, no! He likes you, but you don't like him back. You don't want to be mean to her, but you also don't want to lead her on. How should you deal? Here are some guidelines: DON'T be cold or cruel. You know the Golden Rule, right? Treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you out-and-out reject someone who likes you, especially in a nasty way, it might make you feel good for a little while. But consider his or her feelings. This person just took a huge risk. Chances are, you'll be in the same boat at some point. You'd want to be let down easy, too. DON'T make it all into a joke. Making a big joke out of learning that someone likes you is a particularly cruel way to handle things, and not one you'd like to be on the receiving end of. You may make your friends laugh by telling them all about how a certain person has a crush on you, but that laughter will be over pretty quickly. The person's hurt feelings will last a lot longer. DO be kind. It can be difficult, but it is possible to let someone down nicely without giving the wrong impression. Think about saying something like: "I'm really flattered that you feel that way about me, but I just think of you as a friend" "I don't think of you that way, but I'm glad you told me, and I think you're a cool person." DO be firm. While you're being kind, don't forget to be firm. Make sure the person knows that you don't plan to change your mind about how you feel. It might help to say something like: "Okay, we've talked about this. Let's close the subject for good." "I'm sure you'll find someone else who likes you the way you like them." If you're having trouble letting someone down, or a situation with an unwanted crush is causing problems for you, don't hesitate to talk to a school counselor about it. |
| Prom Night and sexual pressure PROM DATES: 5 BOY TRAPS TO AVOID Once they're set, boy traps can be tough to get out of. But there's no reason to get freaked out. Keep in mind that whatever situation you're in -- however sticky or difficult it seems at the time -- there's always an escape route. So if your guy is into playing cat and mouse on prom night, these tips and tricks will show him that two can play that game. 1. The "Lock and Key" Trap It's not like anything will happen, right? The two of you need a place to go after prom anyway, so why not a hotel room? Your guy may want to get more serious on prom night, but that's his business -- you don't have to along with the plan. Even if you've been dating for ages, prom night and sex rarely mix well. Take it from Kate Kelly, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager, "Prom night is the worst night for making sexual decisions. There's too much excitement and anticipation that could prevent you from making sound decisions." Exit plan: Your best bet is to do some damage control early on. Be direct about not wanting a hotel room. Convince the other members of your prom group that not only are hotel rooms too expensive, but that heading out somewhere else together will be even more fun. If your guy still insists on getting the room, tell him your parents have imposed a curfew and leave it at that. 2. The "Happy Drunk" Trap Your friends want to get the party started, and you don't! Not only that, your guy is drinking too. If your date keeps offering you alcohol, put your foot down immediately. No matter how good a time he seems to be having now, fast forward a few hours and you'll see just how quickly a few drinks can turn into a full-on drinking binge -- which is anything but fun. Exit plan: The best way to combat these high-pressure tactics is to simply say that you don't like the taste of alcohol. If you blame it on your taste buds, it's not like anyone can blame you. Then show everyone that drinking does not equal fun by tearing up the dance floor with your date. And while his coordination may be a little off, you'll be energized enough to dance the whole night through. 3. The "Big Spender" Trap While it may seem like an easy way out, letting your date pay for the whole prom could be a trap in disguise. Is he really all that generous or is something else going on here? Kate Kelly explains, "Don't let him do all the spending on prom or on dates. Girls can make their own money by baby sitting or [doing] other after school jobs. If guys pay more than their share, sometimes it's because they expect something in return." Yes, it's a total double standard, and yes, you don't owe him anything, but it's better safe than sorry here. Exit plan: If your date offers to spring for the whole prom, tell him you'd rather go dutch. Explain that you're all about girl power, which means you expect to pay your own way. He may be caught off guard at first but in the end, he'll probably agree. After all, who wouldn't want to save a few bucks? Just remember, even if a date pays for you, you are under no obligation to do anything you’re not comfortable with. A guy cannot buy sexual favors -- no matter how much he spends. 4: The "Easy Way Home" Trap Let's face it, prom night is exhausting. All those pictures, dances, and parties -- it's no wonder you're zonked. Now imagine if you couldn't find your limo, and your only way home was to hitch a ride with your drunken date. Despite having a strict don't-drink-and-drive policy, you'd be surprised at likely you might be to make a bad decision if you're just too tired to deal. Exit plan: Just remember, you should never, under any circumstances get into a car with a drunk driver. Call your home and have your parents pick you up. Sure, they might be bugged that you woke them up -- but once they're there, they'll be so proud of their little girl for making the right decision (translation: You'll be doing the right thing and winning major brownie points all at once). 5. The "Once-in-a-Lifetime" Trap It's easy to get caught up in the "prom is a major once-in-a-lifetime event" mindset. The thought of slipping into a glitzy gown and dancing until the wee hours of the night is pretty exciting. So it's not surprising that some guys will use the "once-in-a-lifetime" trap to get you to break curfew. But you don't have to fall for it. Remember, there are plenty more parties and fabulous events in your future. Is it really worth worrying your poor parents by not coming home on time? Exit plan: Prom is not the make-it-or-break it event your date and friends will have you think it is. If you don't treat prom as the biggest deal of your life, you won't be as likely to fall for this trick. Use this advice provided teen psychologist Dr. David Landers to avoid curfew pressure: "Blame your parents. Tell your date that your Dad (who's a cop, a marine, or a gun collector) gets really mad at anyone who keeps you out past curfew. Believe me, he'll get the picture fast." And don't forget -- if you get grounded because of a prom night infraction, guess who's not going to any graduation or end-of-the-year parties.... Prom is just the beginning of a lifetime of great memories -- it's not your last chance for fun. So if you find yourself in any of these sticky situations, have an exit plan ready and be ready to bail out fast! |
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